Neither of us whole, alone

The who­le Sce­ne
“You won’t lea­ve me?” I asked at last. “You won’t die?”He shook his head, and squee­zed my hand tight.“You are my cou­ra­ge, as I am your con­sci­ence,” he whis­pe­red. “You are my heart — and I your com­pas­si­on. We are neit­her of us who­le, alo­ne. Do ye not know that, Sassenach?”“I do know that,” I said, and my voice shook. “That’s why I’m so afraid. I don’t want to be half a per­son again, I can’t bear it.”He thum­bed a lock of hair off my wet cheek, and pul­led me into his arms, so clo­se that I could feel the rise and fall of his chest as he bre­a­thed. He was so solid, so ali­ve, rud­dy hair cur­ling gold against bare skin. And yet I had held him so befo­re — and lost him.

finale_courage

His hand touched my cheek, warm despi­te the damp­ness of my skin.“But do ye not see how ver­ra small a thing is the noti­on of death, bet­ween us two, Clai­re?” he whis​pe​red​.My hands cur­led into fists against his chest. No, I didn’t think it a small thing at all.“All the time after ye left me, after Cullo­den — I was dead then, was I not?”“I thought you were. That’s why I — oh.” I took a deep, tremu­lous bre­ath, and he nodded.“Two hund­red years from now, I shall most cer­tain­ly be dead, Sas­se­nach,” he said. He smi­led croo­ked­ly. “Be it Indi­ans, wild beasts, a pla­gue, the hangman’s rope, or only the bles­sing of auld age — I will be dead.”“Yes.”“And while ye were the­re — in your own time — I was dead, no?”I nod­ded, word­less. Even now, I could look back and see the abyss of des­pair into which that par­ting had drop­ped me, and from which I had clim­bed, one pain­ful inch at a time.Now I stood with him again upon the sum­mit of life, and could not con­tem­pla­te descent. He reached down and plu­cked a stalk of grass, sprea­ding the soft green beards bet­ween his fin­gers.“ ‘Man is like the grass of the field,’ ” he quo­ted soft­ly, brushing the slen­der stem over my knuck­les, whe­re they rested against his chest. “ ‘Today it blooms; tomor­row it withers and is cast into the oven.’ ”He lifted the sil­ky green tuft to his lips and kis­sed it, then touched it gent­ly to my mouth.“I was dead, my Sas­se­nach — and yet all that time, I loved you.”I clo­sed my eyes, fee­ling the tick­le of the grass on my lips, light as the touch of sun and air.“I loved you, too,” I whis­pe­red. “I always will.”The grass fell away. Eyes still clo­sed, I felt him lean toward me, and his mouth on mine, warm as sun, light as air.“So long as my body lives, and yours — we are one flesh,” he whis­pe­red. His fin­gers touched me, hair and chin and neck and bre­ast, and I bre­a­thed his bre­ath and felt him solid under my hand. Then I lay with my head on his shoul­der, the strength of him sup­porting me, the wor­ds deep and soft in his chest.“And when my body shall cea­se, my soul will still be yours. Clai­re — I swe­ar by my hope of hea­ven, I will not be par­ted from you.”

not be parted

The wind stir­red the lea­ves of the ches­t­nut trees near­by, and the scents of late sum­mer rose up rich around us; pine and grass and straw­ber­ries, sun­war­med stone and cool water, and the sharp, mus­ky smell of his body next to mine.“Nothing is lost, Sas­se­nach; only changed.”“That’s the first law of ther­mo­dy­na­mics,” I said, wiping my nose.“No,” he said. “That’s faith.”

faith_new_1

All rights for the Pic­tures of Jamie and Claire go to the right­ful owner Starz
Excer­pt and Quo­te by Diana Gabal­don from “DoA“
I own not­hing but the editing
Heike Ginger Ba Written by:

|Human|Woman|Mother|Wife|Friend| Photographer| Blogger|
|TV-Junkie|Photoshop-Beginner|Art-Lover|Cologne-based|Outlander-addict |Sherlockian |TWD-devoted

10 Comments

  1. Jan Moutz
    August 9
    Reply

    Lovely as always! Any­way to pin the quo­te about faith and The Law of Ther­mo­dy­na­mics? I have tried , but I can only pin the quo­te in the midd­le.

    I look for­ward to Without­lan­der everyday.I wish that I had pin­ned them from the begin­ning!

    Thank you for all the beau­ti­ful ide­as!

    Sin­ce­rely, Jan Moutz

  2. Johanne Abonader
    August 9
    Reply

    The pic­tures of Jamie and Clai­re may belong to Starz and the magni­ficent wor­ds belong to Dia­na Gabal­don but the rest of this beau­ty is how you put it all toge­ther. It breaks my heart in a good way but still breaks my heart.

    • Heike Ginger Ba
      August 9
      Reply

      Hi Johan­ne

      thank you so much. Dont want break any Hearts, but i am hap­py that I can con­vey my fee­lings to other peop­le. LG Hei­ke

  3. Iris Davidson
    August 10
    Reply

    Hei­ke, thank you. This pas­sa­ge is so important and beau­ti­ful it makes me to tears.

    • Heike Ginger Ba
      August 13
      Reply

      Hi Iris,

      yes, same here…the who­le Pas­sa­ge is so touching..Thank yyou for your com­ment ! LG Hei­ke

  4. Marie Ann Staton
    August 10
    Reply

    Girl you always do so righ­teous work. Love y’all.

    • Heike Ginger Ba
      August 13
      Reply

      Hi Marie,

      thank you so very much.
      LG Hei­ke Gin­ger Ba

  5. IRIS DAVIDSON
    August 11
    Reply

    I real­ly lik­ed your blog, Hei­ke. You always bring the essence of Out­lan­der to the fore­front. The deep rela­ti­ons­hip bet­ween Clai­re & Jamie are so para­mount to the sto­ry. Thank you for sharing.

    • Heike Ginger Ba
      August 13
      Reply

      Hi Iris,

      thanks for your visit and your very kind wor­ds. Glad you like it :). LG Hei­ke

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