Neither of us whole, alone

The whole Scene
“You won’t leave me?” I asked at last. “You won’t die?”He shook his head, and squeezed my hand tight.“You are my courage, as I am your con­science,” he whis­pered. “You are my heart—and I your com­pas­sion. We are nei­ther of us whole, alone. Do ye not know that, Sassenach?”“I do know that,” I said, and my voice shook. “That’s why I’m so afraid. I don’t want to be half a per­son again, I can’t bear it.”He thumbed a lock of hair off my wet cheek, and pulled me into his arms, so close that I could feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. He was so sol­id, so alive, rud­dy hair curl­ing gold against bare skin. And yet I had held him so before—and lost him.

finale_courage

His hand touched my cheek, warm despite the damp­ness of my skin.“But do ye not see how ver­ra small a thing is the notion of death, between us two, Claire?” he whispered.My hands curled into fists against his chest. No, I didn’t think it a small thing at all.“All the time after ye left me, after Culloden—I was dead then, was I not?”“I thought you were. That’s why I—oh.” I took a deep, tremu­lous breath, and he nodded.“Two hun­dred years from now, I shall most cer­tain­ly be dead, Sasse­nach,” he said. He smiled crooked­ly. “Be it Indi­ans, wild beasts, a plague, the hangman’s rope, or only the bless­ing of auld age—I will be dead.”“Yes.”“And while ye were there—in your own time—I was dead, no?”I nod­ded, word­less. Even now, I could look back and see the abyss of despair into which that part­ing had dropped me, and from which I had climbed, one painful inch at a time.Now I stood with him again upon the sum­mit of life, and could not con­tem­plate descent. He reached down and plucked a stalk of grass, spread­ing the soft green beards between his fin­gers.“ ‘Man is like the grass of the field,’ ” he quot­ed soft­ly, brush­ing the slen­der stem over my knuck­les, where they rest­ed against his chest. “ ‘Today it blooms; tomor­row it with­ers and is cast into the oven.’ ”He lift­ed the silky green tuft to his lips and kissed it, then touched it gen­tly to my mouth.“I was dead, my Sassenach—and yet all that time, I loved you.”I closed my eyes, feel­ing the tick­le of the grass on my lips, light as the touch of sun and air.“I loved you, too,” I whis­pered. “I always will.”The grass fell away. Eyes still closed, I felt him lean toward me, and his mouth on mine, warm as sun, light as air.“So long as my body lives, and yours—we are one flesh,” he whis­pered. His fin­gers touched me, hair and chin and neck and breast, and I breathed his breath and felt him sol­id under my hand. Then I lay with my head on his shoul­der, the strength of him sup­port­ing me, the words deep and soft in his chest.“And when my body shall cease, my soul will still be yours. Claire—I swear by my hope of heav­en, I will not be part­ed from you.”

not be parted

The wind stirred the leaves of the chest­nut trees near­by, and the scents of late sum­mer rose up rich around us; pine and grass and straw­ber­ries, sun­warmed stone and cool water, and the sharp, musky smell of his body next to mine.“Nothing is lost, Sasse­nach; only changed.”“That’s the first law of ther­mo­dy­nam­ics,” I said, wip­ing my nose.“No,” he said. “That’s faith.”

faith_new_1

 

All rights for the Pic­tures of Jamie and Claire go to the right­ful owner Starz
Excer­pt and Quo­te by Diana Gabal­don from “DoA“
I own not­hing but the editing
Heike Ginger Ba Written by:

|Human|Woman|Mother|Wife|Friend| Photographer| Blogger| |TV-Junkie|Photoshop-Beginner|Art-Lover|Cologne-based|Outlander-addict |Sherlockian |TWD-devoted

10 Comments

  1. Jan Moutz
    August 9
    Reply

    Love­ly as always! Any­way to pin the quote about faith and The Law of Ther­mo­dy­nam­ics? I have tried , but I can only pin the quote in the mid­dle.

    I look for­ward to With­out­lander everyday.I wish that I had pinned them from the begin­ning!

    Thank you for all the beau­ti­ful ideas!

    Sin­cere­ly, Jan Moutz

    • Heike Ginger Ba
      August 9
      Reply

      Hi Jan,

      dont know why it does­nt work, maybe because of the Light­box i use. If you look at https://www.facebook.com/sassenachsplace you find the Images also :). Thanks for your vis­it at your very kind com­ment again 🙂 LG Heike

  2. Johanne Abonader
    August 9
    Reply

    The pic­tures of Jamie and Claire may belong to Starz and the mag­nif­i­cent words belong to Diana Gabal­don but the rest of this beau­ty is how you put it all togeth­er. It breaks my heart in a good way but still breaks my heart.

    • Heike Ginger Ba
      August 9
      Reply

      Hi Johanne

      thank you so much. Dont want break any Hearts, but i am hap­py that I can con­vey my feel­ings to oth­er peo­ple. LG Heike

  3. Iris Davidson
    August 10
    Reply

    Heike, thank you. This pas­sage is so impor­tant and beau­ti­ful it makes me to tears.

    • Heike Ginger Ba
      August 13
      Reply

      Hi Iris,

      yes, same here…the whole Pas­sage is so touching..Thank yyou for your com­ment ! LG Heike

  4. Marie Ann Staton
    August 10
    Reply

    Girl you always do so right­eous work. Love y’all.

    • Heike Ginger Ba
      August 13
      Reply

      Hi Marie,

      thank you so very much.
      LG Heike Gin­ger Ba

  5. IRIS DAVIDSON
    August 11
    Reply

    I real­ly liked your blog, Heike. You always bring the essence of Out­lander to the fore­front. The deep rela­tion­ship between Claire & Jamie are so para­mount to the sto­ry. Thank you for shar­ing.

    • Heike Ginger Ba
      August 13
      Reply

      Hi Iris,

      thanks for your vis­it and your very kind words. Glad you like it :). LG Heike

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