Risk the Man

the whole Pas­sage from Voyager

“Aye, I see. And then ye came. But still…why?”
I stared at him with­out speak­ing for a moment. As though he felt the need of air, or per­haps only for some­thing to do, he fum­bled with the latch of the shut­ters and thrust them halfway open, flood­ing the room with the sound of rush­ing water, and the cold, fresh smell of rain.
“Are you try­ing to tell me you don’t want me to stay?” I said, final­ly. “Because if so…I mean, I know you’ll have a life now…maybe you have…other ties…” With unnat­u­ral­ly acute sens­es, I could hear the small sounds of activ­i­ty through­out the house below, even above the rush of the storm, and the pound­ing of my own heart. My palms were damp, and I wiped them sur­rep­ti­tious­ly against my skirt.
He turned from the win­dow to stare at me.
“Christ!” he said. “Not want ye?” His face was pale now, and his eyes unnat­u­ral­ly bright.
“I have burned for you for twen­ty years, Sasse­nach,” he said soft­ly. “Do ye not know that? Jesus!” The breeze stirred the loose wisps of hair around his face, and he brushed them back impatiently.
“But I’m no the man ye knew, twen­ty years past, am I?” He turned away, with a ges­ture of frus­tra­tion. “We know each oth­er now less than we did when we wed.”
“Do you want me to go?” The blood was pound­ing thick­ly in my ears.
“No!” He swung quick­ly toward me, and gripped my shoul­der tight­ly, mak­ing me pull back invol­un­tar­i­ly. “No,” he said, more qui­et­ly. “I din­na want ye to go. I told ye so, and I meant it. But…I must know.” He bent his head toward me, his face alive with trou­bled question.
“Do ye want me?” he whis­pered. “Sasse­nach, will ye take me—and risk the man that I am, for the sake of the man ye knew?”I felt a great wave of relief, min­gled with fear. It ran from his hand on my shoul­der to the tips of my toes, weak­en­ing my joints.
“It’s a lot too late to ask that,” I said, and reached to touch his cheek, where the rough beard was start­ing to show. It was soft under my fin­gers, like stiff plush. “Because I’ve already risked every­thing I had. But who­ev­er you are now, Jamie Fraser—yes. Yes, I do want you.”

risk the man
The light of the can­dle flame glowed blue in his eyes, as he held out his hands to me, and I stepped word­less into his embrace. I rest­ed my face against his chest, mar­veling at the feel of him in my arms; so big, so sol­id and warm. Real, after the years of long­ing for a ghost I could not touch.

All rights for the Pic­ture from Outlander go to the right­ful owner Starz/Sony
Quo­te and Excerpt by Diana Gabaldon from “Voyager”
I own not­hing but the editing
Heike Ginger Ba Written by:

|Human|Woman|Mother|Wife|Friend| Photographer| Blogger| |TV-Junkie|Photoshop-Beginner|Art-Lover|Cologne-based|Outlander-addict |Sherlockian |TWD-devoted

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