Risk the Man

the who­le Pas­sa­ge from Voya­ger

Aye, I see. And then ye came. But still…why?”
I sta­red at him without speaking for a moment. As though he felt the need of air, or perhaps only for some­thing to do, he fum­bled with the latch of the shut­ters and thrust them half­way open, floo­ding the room with the sound of rus­hing water, and the cold, fresh smell of rain.
“Are you try­ing to tell me you don’t want me to stay?” I said, final­ly. “Becau­se if so…I mean, I know you’ll have a life now…maybe you have…other ties…” With unnatu­ral­ly acu­te sen­ses, I could hear the small sounds of activi­ty throug­hout the hou­se below, even above the rush of the storm, and the poun­ding of my own heart. My palms were damp, and I wiped them sur­rep­ti­tious­ly against my skirt.
He tur­ned from the win­dow to sta­re at me.
“Christ!” he said. “Not want ye?” His face was pale now, and his eyes unnatu­ral­ly bright.
“I have bur­ned for you for twen­ty years, Sas­se­nach,” he said soft­ly. “Do ye not know that? Jesus!” The bre­e­ze stir­red the loo­se wisps of hair around his face, and he brushed them back impa­ti­ent­ly.
“But I’m no the man ye knew, twen­ty years past, am I?” He tur­ned away, with a ges­tu­re of frus­tra­ti­on. “We know each other now less than we did when we wed.”
“Do you want me to go?” The blood was poun­ding thic­kly in my ears.
“No!” He swung quick­ly toward me, and grip­ped my shoul­der tight­ly, making me pull back invol­un­ta­ri­ly. “No,” he said, more quiet­ly. “I din­na want ye to go. I told ye so, and I meant it. But…I must know.” He bent his head toward me, his face ali­ve with trou­bled ques­ti­on.
“Do ye want me?” he whis­pe­red. “Sas­se­nach, will ye take me — and risk the man that I am, for the sake of the man ye knew?”I felt a gre­at wave of reli­ef, ming­led with fear. It ran from his hand on my shoul­der to the tips of my toes, wea­ke­n­ing my joints.
“It’s a lot too late to ask that,” I said, and reached to touch his cheek, whe­re the rough beard was star­ting to show. It was soft under my fin­gers, like stiff plush. “Becau­se I’ve alre­ady ris­ked ever­y­thing I had. But whoever you are now, Jamie Fra­ser — yes. Yes, I do want you.”

risk the man
The light of the cand­le fla­me glo­wed blue in his eyes, as he held out his hands to me, and I step­ped word­less into his embrace. I rested my face against his chest, mar­ve­ling at the feel of him in my arms; so big, so solid and warm. Real, after the years of lon­ging for a ghost I could not touch.

All rights for the Pic­ture from Outlander go to the right­ful owner Starz/​Sony
Quo­te and Excerpt by Diana Gabaldon from “Voyager”
I own not­hing but the editing
Heike Ginger Ba Written by:

|Human|Woman|Mother|Wife|Friend| Photographer| Blogger|
|TV-Junkie|Photoshop-Beginner|Art-Lover|Cologne-based|Outlander-addict |Sherlockian |TWD-devoted

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